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Ah, the age old decision of which planner to buy and use for next year. Planner peeps, can't we all agree that Planner Peace is a unicorn in the world of washi, mildliners, and stickers??? Most of my planner friends have purchased and tried at least 5 planners, maybe 10, before finding 1-3 that even come close to meeting their needs. Let's face it, planner people like perfection and in the planning world, there just isn't ONE product that can meet all of our needs. So... we keep trying things out and find our groove eventually. If you are a beginner planner, I encourage you to watch some YouTube videos, scroll IG or Pinterest, or check out a planning group on Facebook for ideas before you buy ALL the planner goodies and are unhappy. Some quality planners are >$50, so try (at least in your head) before you buy if you can! Using a horizontal layout: Pros:
Using a vertical layout: Pros:
Random pics:
The most important step to beginning a planning routine is like almost any other new habit in life, just BEGIN. Don't be scared to write in your pretty planner. You don't have to use stickers or colored pens or markers. You CAN use white out or a pencil or just scratch through things. It's not rocket science, but it is FUN in many ways. It does give a false sense of control 🤪, and it can give a sense of accomplishment to at least TRY to plan out our lives. I have a $10 off discount code for your first Erin Condren purchase on my Tools page. I've tried and tested almost every planning system out there, so feel free to post any planning questions below. You can also follow me on IG where I post some of my planning dalliances. 📚 Happy Planning! ☀️✍️📝
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There are SO many ways to use a daily planner. Over the years, I have tried numerous daily planners: Planner Perfect Traveler's Notebook system, Passion Planner Daily, Erin Condren Daily Petite Planner, bullet journaling, Michael Hyatt's Full Focus Planner, and Emily Ley's Simplified Planner Daily. The 3 that I stuck with the longest are Planner Perfect, Passion Planner, and EC Daily Petite. I really enjoyed bullet journaling, but it seemed to take more time than I currently have available since everything is blank and undated. Planner Perfect is also blank and undated (other than the pre-printed week-at-a-glance and month-at-a-glance in each of her monthly journals), BUT if you receive her monthly subscription box, you'll get 3 coordinating washi tapes for the month and 4 coordinating sticker pages for the month which make it easy to set up your monthly book. I also find it calming and rhythmic to lay down washi and stickers every month in a freshly printed traveler's notebook that I know will change out of my beautiful, rich, fabulously-leather-smelling Coco TN each and every month. It really is like a fresh start and a new beginning each month. There is something to be said for that. ☀️ Ways to use a daily planner (what to write in it):
Using a daily planner may seem cumbersome, time-wasting, like overkill, or even pointless to some. At times, I agree. Other times, however, I feel like I'm in 4th grade again - unable to drive yet- unable to see my friends freely - and full of creative energy and thoughts that need to land somewhere. I have markers, pens, coloring pencils, stamps, washi tape, and a TV with streaming services or Audible with any book I want or a phone with YouTube and AirPods to fill my creative or avoidant needs.
Planning CAN be numbing, and that's okay. I know a 40-something woman decorating paper with stickers is a much healthier outlet than substance abuse or an eating disorder and I do not say that lightly. Addiction is real. Trauma is real. Numbing is real. Self-soothing is real. Finding healthy and safe ways to calm our nervous system can be both life-giving and life-saving. YOU may just like pens and paper. I encourage you to take your planning love for what it is and enjoy it. I never met a dual-tip marker I didn't like. 😜✍️📝🌻 I am the mother of THREE boys! Three boys who will all become young men with driver's licenses and whom will require car insurance. I predict they will be as busy as Husband and I were in high school between work and school activities, so I envision a used car lot in my driveway. Boys are EXPENSIVE to insure, and two of mine are only 20 months apart in age. That said, Mommy needed a gameplan for CARS (or trucks if you live in Georgia like we do). I knew that college savings needed to be different from a car fund, and I have always been a Dave Ramsey fan. I remembered Dave saying that he would match whatever his children saved for a vehicle, and I really liked that idea. I wasn't 100% sure what I was doing, but I wanted to have an account open to at least get started. I will lay out how I use the car fund system in our household. The boys have never known any differently than this, so it has worked well. If you are starting this with older children, there might be some mutiny and a learning curve at the beginning.
A few closing thoughts:
I hope you consider starting a car fund. You can even use these tips if you don't have children. Use them for yourself! All of us can benefit from these basic principles. Happy Saving and Godspeed. I started these accounts for my boys when Braden was a baby, Jake was 2, and Cameron was 10. This just shows I practice what I preach and it has worked well for our family. Best of luck as you save for your kiddos! Less Stress is Always Best!!!
I was listening to Emily P Freeman's episode with Shauna Niequist and one of Shauna's quotes struck me right in the sternum. Ouch! Immediate shame washed over me and so I had to check myself. Shame and I have been working ourselves out this past year or so, and so when She (shame) comes around, all my bells and whistles go off. Hold up, wait a minute - why did those words sting me like a fresh slap on the cheek? I think it is because they are TRUE. As women, we can connect or we can compare, but we cannot do both. A little louder for the people in the back. WE CAN CONNECT OR WE CAN COMPARE BUT WE CANNOT DO BOTH. These are Shauna's words reiterated and repeated by Emily. I am going to break this down on a practical level, because this is one lesson I hope I never forget. How do we connect and/or compare ourselves as women? Let me count the ways! Think of all the women you may encounter on a daily basis and check yourself on whether you have sized them up or stood with them in their journey.
Now consider if you've ever had these thoughts or even verbalized them with another woman ABOUT another woman... (gut punch)
I recently finished the book "What Happened to You?" by Dr. Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey. The concept inside the book includes a HUGE mindset shift from thinking "what's wrong with you?" to "what happened to you?". If someone you know or love is acting in ways that are not the norm- displaying anger, depression, anxiety, mood swings, childishness, avoidance, bitterness, negativity, or any emotion we don't "like" - take a deep breath. That person is CLEARLY struggling. Instead of taking another person's toxic behavior personally, acknowledge that something is going on within that person. They are acting out because something at some time happened to them or is happening now to them. Now, apply this concept of what happened to you AND the concept of connection instead of comparison and apply it to all those women we listed above:
Ladies, can we see the difference here?
Connection versus comparison??? Shauna is right! We can connect or we can compare but we CANNOT do both. Giving TOO MUCH grace, not holding boundaries, and "letting people off the hook" are worthy of their own post, but the simple art of connection is still a fantastic place to START. Let us begin with common ground and try to excise the comparison. Comparison really is the thief of joy my friends (thanks Teddy Roosevelt). Let us come together as ONE body of women and humans and recognize what joins us. We all face similar adversities as women, and tearing each other down is killing us as a sisterhood and internally at a soul level. To all the women in my life, I see you. I know you. I could be you. Let me recognize YOU and acknowledge YOU before my mind plays games. Ask any healer anywhere (nurse, therapist, doctor, anyone in the healing arts) and they will agree that at the most basic level, on our most vulnerable days, in our weakest moments, we are ALL the same. At our first breath and our last, we are completely and entirely the same. Comparison be gone. Godspeed. Hey, I know you. I share a bed, a remote, and a living room with you. I ride in the front seat with you. I talk to you numerous times a day about kids and groceries and logistics. I know how you take your coffee and what you like on your pizza. But, do I know you right now, at this very moment, 12 years in, more or less than I did say 10 years ago? BEFORE our conversations revolved around schedules and pickups and homework. I know I have changed in the last 12 years. Surely you have as well? Have I asked? Have I noticed? Have you seen the changes in me? Have you noticed? Are we giving each other what we need? (my therapist is ALWAYS in my ear- "tell them what you NEED Amy! tell that person what you NEED.") Every year we try to take a trip sans kiddos to regroup, reconnect, unplug, and just have fun together. It is a WORTHY investment (time and money) in a marriage or relationship. Parenting is hard! Adulting is hard! Marriage is hard! Sure, some people make it look easy, but let's leave them out of it and talk about the real work that staying married involves. We usually try some "games" or conversation starters to break our habit of only talking about our kids, our jobs, or our day-to-day frustrations. Sometimes we play "would you rather?". Here are some of the ones we asked this last date night:
Wait, what just happened? We soon realized that the frivolous conversations led to deeper ones and that was the eventual goal anyway, BUT had we ever really talked about any of these things? We have not crossed into some of those territories personally, but we have witnessed other loved ones facing different challenges. Those various challenges have seemed more frequent as we age, or perhaps our reservoirs of empathy grow deeper with maturity and life experience. To be quite frank, husband and I had not attended many funerals together prior to the last 2-3 years. We were busy attending weddings or baby showers. That dress with heels and coat and tie now have a different destination it seems. And so it goes. This weekend we've discussed our future grandparent names, how we picture retirement for each of us individually as well as together, and trips we plan to take. We have discussed aging parents and various family caregiving scenarios. Our first few "just us" getaways involved naps and recovery from pure exhaustion and planning out toddler birthday parties, Halloween costume ideas, or Santa ideas. Now we are brainstorming passive income ideas, retirement goals, and our own personal dreams and desires. We are transforming, both together and separately, from Mom & Dad, to 2 people with our own passions, fears, and personal insecurities. I am by no means a marriage expert.
I have seen a beautiful example of marriage in my parents and some of my other family members. Husband and I have each had a failed marriage prior to this one, so we know how painful divorce is and we are each way too stubborn to go down without a fight. I'm not writing this as a beacon of marital bliss, but rather as a tired working mom in the thick of motherhood, menopause, and midlife (try having kids in your mid-30's) 😜. I am writing this as an imperfect, hard-to-please, bleeding-heart woman married to an imperfect, hard-headed, scared-of-abandonment man that didn't see the example of marriage that I saw growing up. We are actually two scared-of-being-vulnerable humans bound together by beautiful boys and God, fate, the universe - but we, too, are still trying to figure it all out. If you find yourself still figuring it all out, it's OKAY. Stay the course. My Uncle Don told me one time many years ago, "Amy, you know how to stay married, right? long pause. You just never leave. Neither of you. You stay and you don't leave." Time and space apart can sometimes be good for a marriage. They can allow room to think and heal. But time TOGETHER has been our best strategy. Make your marriage a priority. Make your spouse a priority. He or she is a worthy investment. You can read all the books and try all the counseling, but sometimes you just need TIME together and conversations that bring you closer than you thought you might ever be. Godspeed.
Before deciding if you love me or hate me, let's look at each of these in a little more detail. If you are reading this and you don't work in healthcare, I encourage you to close your eyes. Imagine driving to work where patients are very sick and you are responsible for their health. Imagine being extremely exhausted - mentally, physically, and emotionally. Imagine having the same conversations day in and day out. Imagine wearing a mask and face shield all day every day AND if you work in certain healthcare settings, full plastic gowns (sweaty and HOT) with even more restrictive masks (n95). Think about having heart-wrenching conversations about death and dying with families and patients that you have come to love over many years. Consider praying on your drive in and your drive home because you've worked in healthcare since you were 19 years old, but you've never seen anything as dark and dangerous, cold and pointless, savage and destructive as THIS. Imagine that you, like everyone else, have also been unable to see loved ones, travel, send your kids to school without a mask, and that you- like everyone else- have your own political and religious beliefs but you cannot mention those since ALL eyes and ears are on you. Now imagine doing that every single day for 20 months in a row.
I usually wrap up my posts with some heart-swelling, tear-jerking, or funny concluding thoughts. I try to connect us as humans, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, neighbors, and friends. I find a way to touch you, soften you, move you even if it’s only for a moment. I don’t know how to do that with this post. I’m tired. I’m sad. I’m frustrated. I’m still hopeful. I still believe. I guess I will end by asking all of us to consider the division we have all felt over the past 2 years. Consider the lost lives and energy we have all spent to prove we are right. And hug your family. Hug your loved ones. And look your “enemy” in the eye before you judge their choices. We really are all the same. Imperfect. Scared. And trying to stay alive. 🌎 Once you have decided on a planner, you will immediately start thinking of ways to use the Notes Pages in the back of the planner. Below, I show you pages from my own planners over the years. Some of the other ways I have used my notes pages include:
📝 ✍️ Happy planning!!! 📒📚
I do want you to listen to the podcast, because I think there are some big pearls in this interview, but here are a few highlights:
Find out who is in your circle:
Plan as much as you can ahead of time:
Final pro tips: -Keep a medical binder of all your paperwork -Have a designated inbox for all incoming papers (follow The Planning Woman for more on this) -Apply for intermittent FMLA with your employer -My personal pro tip: PET THERAPY! 🐶🐱 Charlie the Dachshund makes everything better!
What's in a name? I have been married twice. I dated my first husband six years before we got married, and we were married 7 years. We didn't have any children. I've been married to my current husband for 12 years now and we have raised 3 children together. My step-son was 7 when we got married (19 now and out of the house), and our boys are 9 and 11. What is bizarre is that neither of my husbands have a very close relationship with their fathers. In fact, I have never met either of their fathers. To take that even further, I have never met a SINGLE person on either of their father's side of the family. So... to put that into practical terms, I have had a last name for 19 of my 45 years that really had no "meaning" to me. My first husband was the only "Smith" (not his name, but just using as an example) I knew but then I carried that name. My second husband is the only Cobb I know other than our 3 children. Let that sink in for a moment. This has made for some very awkward life moments:
Since I'm really into family in general, and I love old family names and family history, I bought my parents an Ancestry.com kit for Mother's or Father's Day one year. I also bought one for myself and my husband. I love looking back at all of our relatives and heritage, but building my husband's family tree has been difficult. This has led me into some deep thought (doesn't take much for me to go deep 😜).
In my opinion, a name carries weight. Identity matters. Having always worked in the medical field, my name is something I sign every single day. I prescribe medicine so it appears on prescription bottles and insurance claims and lab and imaging orders. Nurses answer the phone "Amy Cobb's office, how may I help you?" I am listed as a primary care provider for about 2000 people. I don't mention this as if I am anything special. I most certainly am not. But do I feel odd having a last name plastered all over HealthGrades and pill bottles when I have no physical, emotional, or spiritual connection to the name? Yes, I am married to a Cobb. But what makes him a "Cobb?" I can't grin at my husband and say "you laugh just like your daddy." I can't look at my boys and tell them they have the Cobb nose or the Cobb stubborn streak. I can't say "boys, your grandfather would have loved to see you hit that ball, march that field, fix that jet." I don't know any Cobb recipes or Cobb traditions. I don't know if or where they went to church, what music they loved, or how they earned a living. And so again, is this how fatherless children feel? What about the motherless child? Is it the name that carries the weight or the connection itself with a parent, a heritage, a history? For my adopted friends and patients, what does their adopted name mean to them? Is it a name filled with love, hope, and acceptance or is it a daily reminder of what could have been and what may never be? Not knowing anyone else with my name is a first-world problem. I realize that. But it is a thing. I'm learning to acknowledge my "things." I'm learning to feel those feelings, name what's missing or hurting, and process what thoughts can do to my body. Is this shame I am feeling? Regret? Did I even do anything wrong? Who is to blame - or is blame even required? Another ebb and flow in the circle of life, the jagged bonds of connectedness that barely keep us together - sometimes by one single strand of a lineage. I reached out to my writing group to see if any adopted writers had a perspective about the meaning of a name. Ann C. Averill wrote a beautiful piece about her experience with her name, and I am happy to feature it as a guest post on 10/12/21. Thank you, Ann, for your bravery and vulnerability to share with my readers. ❤️
I was pretty sure an acorn grew into a tree. I haven't been in first grade for a while, but I thought I remembered an acorn grew into an oak tree. I decided I better look it up before I wrote an entire post about it, and alas... an acorn does grow into an oak tree. Wikipedia expounded upon acorns being used in art, cuisine, customs, and as food for various birds and mammals. When I took the picture of the acorn in my husband's hand this morning, I wasn't thinking about anything but stored potential. Stored potential. I remembered squirrels collect and store acorns for the winter. And they eat the acorns. And those eaten acorns never reach their calling of becoming a beautiful oak tree.
There are all kinds of books and stories and even a finance app regarding the acorn as a tool for storage, delayed potential, growth. And yet... Here we are, scrolling on our phones or our laptops or our tablets (thank you, dear readers, and I do mean that)... Did we write that book we wanted to write? Did we take that ballroom dance class we wanted to take? Did we belt it at karaoke night like we'd been rehearsing with our brush mic in front of our bathroom mirror? (Okay, Susie did but that was the bottomless margaritas singing, not her true heart's desire to sing on a stage in front of strangers and have someone's heart beat a little faster and someone's eyes water at the sheer sound of her voice... wait, maybe that's just me)? Did we finally tell our friend we were sorry when we did that thing that's rolled around in the back of our minds for 20 years? Did we hold our child close to our chest and tell them everything is going to be okay even though we know it might not be okay and we don't want to be the reason they're in therapy later but we don't want to pretend everything is okay, oh my goodness, what is the right answer? Did we apply for the promotion we know we deserve or let another opportunity pass us by? Did we sign up for the race we know we aren't ready for but really, really want to try? Did we tell the person that hurt us repeatedly that they did hurt us and going forward, did we define what we need from them? Did we look in the mirror this morning and like every single inch of our bodies and every single fiber of our heart and soul because God designed us as a masterpiece, beautifully and wonderfully made, despite society's measuring sticks? Or, did we remain on the leaf-covered ground like the acorn... waiting for a squirrel or bird or toddler to scoop us up? Were we stored away for another day? Were we consumed before we ever began our destiny? An oak tree is a beautiful destiny. She is strong, tall, sturdy, and beautiful, with colors that change with the seasons. She provides shelter, shade, and structure. She never leaves us and she stays the same for the most part. You know what else is beautiful? A mother who tells her children she has been hurt too, and that it really is all going to be okay. That she KNOWS it's going to be okay, because she is okay and she will help them be okay as long as she is on this earth. A wife who tells her partner what she needs from them even if she doesn't know if they can give her what she needs. A friend who tells the truth when asked if she's okay. And a friend who recognizes her own flaws and asks for patience and understanding. A daughter who can look at her elderly parents and recognize every line on their face and hands for all its good and bad and steadfastness. She can see herself acquiring those same lines and she knows the toll each one has taken. She knows that her own children will see her lines one day, and she hopes they give her the same recognition. I'm typing this on the porch of a cabin on a lake in north Georgia and the acorns are literally spilling from the treetops hitting the ground HARD and abruptly and with force and determination. Each one comes down on this cabin rooftop or leaf-scattered ground with a POUND or a BOOM or a SNAP. And my heart is full. For I know the destiny of each tiny acorn. She is yearning to become a beautiful oak. She is waiting for her moment to rise. Now it is your turn. What path will you choose? Will you make the hard decisions, let your voice be heard, show up for those who love and need you? Or will you stay on the ground... waiting... watching... allowing life to happen all around you? I dare you to stand. I will stand with you. State Prints from Jane- White on White Frames from Amazon These are the 4 states in which I've lived!
LUG Switch crossbody bag - came with free phone holder that you can touch through (though I haven't tried it) and it has that RFID technology that keeps people from scanning your card #s. Ya'll, this was my first ever QVC purchase and I am 45 years old. I love, love, love the bag though for shopping as it's the perfect size for my small LUG Splits Wallet (got it from amazon- will link on my tools page), my phone, keys, lipstick, coupons, mask, and hand sanitizer. I think the QVC chic showed it worn as a fanny pack also, but I haven't been to Disney since I got it. :-). I know I paid under $50, but I would have to look back at the exact price. I can't find the exact one on Amazon but I linked one very similar in my "tools" page. This bag is still available on the QVC site but the colors are very limited. 👀
Who knew a pen and paper ✍️ could save a life? I wasn’t actively suicidal. But I was having frequent daydreams of having a wreck that was “bad enough” to keep me in the hospital a few days, off work at least a month, and unable to help anyone else for a while. 😳 I wanted it to be a single-car accident and of course I wanted to be alone. I wasn’t looking forward to the injuries and was praying nothing would require surgery, but I couldn’t wait to have a respite from work, life, and motherhood. Does that sound crazy? Selfish? Or similar to thoughts you’ve had? Caregiver fatigue 😴 is a real thing, even if you’re paid to care for others. Motherhood fatigue 😴and lemme just say it, full-time step-motherhood 🤷🏼♀️ fatigue is a real thing even if you love your children 🚶♂️👬🏼 dearly. Today’s world 🌎 for women is exhausting:
Toss in a pandemic 😷 and virtual school 📚and BAM, all the therapists are booked! Fortunately, my mental "breakdown" was pre-pandemic. Thank the heavens I already had a therapist when my regular job got flipped upside down in March of 2020. My crazy started when I was in the throes of motherhood, working full-time and commuting with kids age 2, 4, and 12. I was crying regularly on my way home from work, wondering how I was going to get everything done and actually sleep too...😴 I’ve always had pen and paper near me, but I didn’t start regularly journaling ✍️ until I started feeling that OVERWHELM on a regular basis. I had so many thoughts racing through my head and I didn’t have a system to capture them. I was using a planner, but I might think of something while driving or in the shower and I would lose the idea 💡 or thought before I captured it. Some internet scrolling led me to David Allen’s Getting Things Done method. By this point I had played around with bullet journaling and list making (List Maker 4 Life right here now!), but again, I felt like my thoughts were fleeting and scattered. I will link the GTD method below, and I do think it's a good system, but that's not the point of this post. Once I started decluttering my mind from all the racing thoughts, then I had to face my actual thoughts. This was not a good look. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed with abandon or woken up with a passion for life. I felt like I was on a treadmill with no way off. Someone was going to have to pull me off, and I didn't have the time or energy to ask anyone to pull me off. I never felt relaxed. I was in a constant state of fight or flight (or so it seemed). I was alive. But was I living? Enter the JOURNAL. ✍️ A journal can be so many things:
I grew up in a family that plays games. My father's family played Rook and Dominos. My mother's mother and her husband loved to play Uno and Skip-Bo with me. My childhood friend and I could then and now beat anybody anywhere in Spades (name the date and time, we will be there). In my first marriage, we hosted game nights pretty regularly since we did not have children and we actually had some free time on weekends. Since moving to Georgia, I have hosted several Girls Nights involving games and a ton of laughter. I can quote some of the crazy things my friends have said from those nights, and I will never regret playing a game with people I love. Playing games makes us feel connected, engaged, and let's face it - COMPETITIVE. In 2021, our kids don't know a ton about winning and losing. Participation trophies are the norm and handling a loss is not a daily challenge. I even work in a county where a ZERO cannot be given by a teacher even if the child doesn't write a single stroke of pencil on the page. A SIXTY is the lowest grade that can be given. WHAT are we teaching our next generation? I am the first to admit that not only am I competitive, but I can get carried away. This has improved with each life decade, and I'm now teaching my kids how to win and lose. We love to play the board game Aggravation and now that they are old enough, we have introduced Taboo, The Five Second Rule, Charades, Mafia, Pictionary, Scrabble, Monopoly, and many more. Along the way, I have created games that we can play at the table during family meals OR on a roadtrip. I have no idea if I am the only one on the planet who created these, so I am not calling copyright and you are more than welcome to use them. I think I made them up, but I am certain I did not. I encourage you to try these with your family. Make sure devices are far away and HAVE FUN!
Anyway, now that you have 5 tried-and-true "invisible" (no prop) games you can play with your family or friends while on a roadtrip or sharing a meal, I encourage you to try it!
Start today! Let me know which ones you loved or hated and leave a comment with any "invisible" games you might play with your family. When a patient presents with hair loss, I obtain a thorough history:
I then perform a thorough physical exam and order the following tests:
That may not “answer” your question but I hope it helps you know what a clinician will be looking for with this presentation of hair loss. 🩺👩⚕️ Personally, I have dealt with hair loss from taking Methotrexate for my sarcoidosis.
It started coming out in clumps in the shower and then in my brush. I soon had very patchy areas of hair loss all over my scalp. My hairdresser advised me to stop applying heat to my hair when possible, to wash my hair less frequently, to avoid ponytail holders when possible, and to avoid any hair color or harsh chemicals. I usually got some blonde highlights in the spring put in my naturally red hair, but I went without those for 4 years while I was on Methotrexate. My rheumatologist increased my Folic Acid dose from 1 mg to 2 mg daily, and I ordered Biotin off Amazon Subscribe and Save. I took the Biotin daily to help with hair growth. I am finally off Methotrexate and on Humira and am seeing hair growth again. Losing my hair was very emotional for me. My bright red hair has defined me for so long. I now knew what all of my patients struggling with hair loss from chemo or other medical reasons were feeling, and boy was it a wake up call. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with hair loss. Much love to you and I hope this helps. I was surprised 🧐 when the vaccine came out for frontline HCW (healthcare workers) in December 2020 and the general public started claiming it caused sterility. Let’s use common sense. 🧠 It takes 1–24 months 📆 to conceive before most providers start to investigate infertility. It takes 40 weeks to carry a baby 🍼 to term. Let’s average conception time to 12 months and add the gestation time of 9 months🤰 to = 21 months. Covid REALLY started to hit the US hard about 18–19 months ago. The vaccine was available to some of us 9–10 months ago but MOST of the women of childbearing age could not receive it until 5 months ago. How can anyone claim infertility at this point in time? 🤔 I never say never because I am constantly learning in medicine. Every day I see something I never thought I would witness. I have had pregnant women🤰contract Covid and pregnant women🤰receive the Covid vaccine. I have also seen pregnant unvaccinated women with Covid whose babies had to be delivered while mom was on the ventilator. My community just lost a 28 year-old mother of 3 who never got to know her newborn. 🥲 The American College of Obstetrics & Gynecology and the Society for Maternal Fetal Medicine issued a joint statement encouraging the vaccine for all pregnant women🤰 in July 2021. I recognize that I have the benefit of being "done" having my babies as I navigate this pandemic. That fact is NOT lost on me. I know young adults are faced with a very hard decision with such a new vaccine and their entire lives in front of them. Early in the pandemic, I even advised some of my young, healthy patients to wait until we had more long-term data... that I saw no serious health risk if they were to contract covid. 2021 changed that. I have had YOUNG, healthy patients on the ventilator and near death. I still believe it is a personal decision, but please be sure you are getting your information from reputable sources and people you trust. Much love... As I sit outside to write, I hear birds around me, the gentle breeze in the trees, and squirrels rustling through the leaves. It is a gorgeous late summer afternoon, and I can feel the energy of fall from my toes up through my body and into my smile. Fall is my absolute favorite time of year, only one tiny degree above Christmas. I see a blue-tailed lizard shuffle along my patio and I notice a few dry leaves dancing from the treetops to the creek bed.
God didn't make me to live inside. He didn't make me to sit still or stay in one place either. I have lived in 4 states, multiple homes, and I think I'm on my third lifetime (or so it feels most days). Sometimes, when I'm quiet... when IT is quiet.. I reflect on all I have seen, witnessed, felt, loved, lost, and won. Certain flashes in time come to me, waves of emotions, smells, sounds, and FEELINGS. When I'm quiet. When my day is quiet. When I'm not moving or doing or thinking...
Bonus question: what can I do to help? I feel so helpless!
***as always, consult your PCP for your healthcare. I’m trying to raise awareness. Let’s not bicker and judge over vaccine status. Let’s educate ourselves and let’s come together to get out of this public health crisis!!!***
I knew I wanted shelves on all 3 sides of the closet. I knew I didn't want wire racks. I knew I didn't want to use shelving brackets if possible. My husband got creative and thought of a solution. He notched the wood so he could use wooden slats as supports.
I don't know all the other technical ways he made this happen but I love it! I just had a funny thought as I sipped my coffee. I wish I had read this article 19 years ago in my first few weeks of NP school. I wonder if I would have kept going to class? Probably... knowing me. I'm always trying to prove somebody wrong. Alright, alright, I'm about to let you all in on a BIG secret! Those who love me, and especially those who live with me know all of these truths, but I bet many of you are about to lose all your enamor for your health care provider. I am going to tell you about the daily life of a family nurse practitioner working in primary care. In essence, my day can be broken down into a few "sessions" or time periods.
Let me laugh with another sip of coffee real quick before I proceed.
Going back to my original "dreams" of working as an NP, did any of it come true?
Check out these posts from my fellow Hope*Writers for our monthly writing challenge. This month's theme was "daily": Oh, I Try by Jessica Weaver www.rootedunrooted.com/blog/oh-i-try Kids Sleep Meditation: 6 Daily Practice Dos and Don’ts by Ashley Olivine louvaria.com/kids-sleep-meditation/ Lessons from Daily Bread by Dianne Vielhuber simplewordsoffaith.com/2021/09/01/lessons-from-daily-bread/ Daily Conversations with God by Sharla Hallett www.sharlahallett.com/daily-conversations-with-god/ The boys lined up in their knicker pants smiles and oversized gloves and bats mom and dads in the bleacher seats red Georgia clay in barely-worn cleats I had the honor of sitting inside the dusty dugout, beaming with pride I applied all the bandaids, passed out the ice packs watched the boys triumph, grow, and relax I knew the days being close to him would end I knew my high fives would be replaced with friends' what I didn't expect was how much I would learn about watching my own child wait for his turn I witnessed my boy's first time on that bench I felt his disappointment and saw the heart-wrench I watched my own child have ups and downs in the game I saw innings of glory and moments of shame I knew it would come to an end one day I knew I'd hear "Mom, get out. We're good. Go away." I still feel my heart tug when I wash his gear I know his time is now, this very year So go get 'em, sweet boy- show them all what you've got Let the haters stand back, for a quitter you're not Throw that ball down the strike zone with red Georgia heat Nail that ball to the outfield, pull the crowd to their feet I may not be in that dugout with you right now but this mom is inside you, I'm showing you how to come back from defeat and rise to the top keep your head held high son, all the doubting shall stop When the ump calls "That's Ball Game" and the fans shift away this mom knows your love for the game and each play This life lesson you've learned - while it hurt, it's okay Smack that ball, throw that strike, they'll remember your name This goes out to any little boy who waited his turn and for his mom that watched him wait. As a family nurse practitioner, I see moms, dads, grandparents, and kids every day in my office. One of the most common questions I encounter with my pediatric patients comes from frustrated, defeated parents or grandparents. HOW CAN I GET MY CHILD TO EAT VEGETABLES? Here is the tried-and-true method I've used with my own children to get them to eat vegetables (and other healthy foods):
Let's discuss each tip in more detail. There are some things you need to know before you begin.
If you are reading this article thinking that I am judging you, I am not by any means. I think all mothers and fathers are doing the best they can when they can where they are in life. You decided that you want to work on Johnny's diet, and you looked for help. I decided I could not lie to you and give you what you wanted to read. You need the truth! These tips have worked in my house and in HUNDREDS of homes of my patients throughout my career. Good luck Mom or Dad! You can do this!!! I am cheering for you! I'm waving broccoli and carrots at you from Georgia!
How to be the most productive on your day off (when you have to run errands): 10 Pro Tips!8/11/2021
We have all been there. We have an unexpected day off and we try to cram 497,632 things to do in that one day. That day comes and goes like the wind and maybe only two things were accomplished. We feel like a failure, and we decide we are a lazy blob of a human. None of this is true.
Here are 10 pro tips when running errands and being productive on your day off:
Let's take a deep dive into each of these pro tips.
I encourage you to try these on your next day off and share your success stories (or epic fails- we can laugh or cry with you) in the comments below. Please know that I still have wasted days off, and that's okay! I'm learning in my forties that some days are meant to be wasted. (insert sunshine, beach music, and a cool breeze here)
First of all- this morning was a disaster, so I thought this might be a good topic for a blog post. Since my oldest is now 19 and out of the house, I cannot claim to be a novice at getting children out the door. My youngest is now in fourth grade, so again I should be good at this.
I learned many years ago that mornings and evenings with children can make or break any parent's heart. All kids out the door with teeth brushed, hair combed, deodorant on, lunch in hand, and backpacks on equals home run, grand slam, touchdown. If either or both parent makes it out the door with work lunch, work bag, clothes, jewelry, watch, phone, brain cells, positive attitude, AND shoes--- well you might as well say we have won the lottery. The secret to these success stories (which let’s be honest are few and far between for most of us) is having a morning and an evening routine. I know, I know, everyone and their mother, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin is online touting about elaborate morning and evening routines that are super unrealistic for a single person much less for a family with multiple children. My goal in writing this article is to tell you the absolute truth: the cold, hard, ugly, sometimes-hilarious, often meltdown-provoking truth. The truth is that getting kids out the door is hard. It also takes practice and patience. The following tips will help you get your kids out the door:
The 15 minute buffer: Parents and kids alike need a 15 minute buffer every morning. This is a fact, and I’m not sure why it is true, but it is true. If everyone needs to leave by 7:15 AM , we ALL need to mentally think 7 AM. Allowing that 15 minute buffer reduces anxiety, rushing, attitudes, and raised voices. I personally use the 15 minute buffer always on all days just to reduce my own anxiety since being late provokes panic for me. Have a dedicated spot for backpacks, shoes, and lunchboxes: All five members of our household have always taken their lunch to work or school. This saves money and is better for our physical health. We have a dedicated spot for lunchboxes so that packing lunches is easier. I asked my husband to install hooks in our hallway between the garage and laundry room for backpacks since the layout of our house does not lend itself to a mud room or drop off bench area. The backpack / hoodie hooks have been a game changer in our household. Similarly, shoes are deposited in a designated space as we enter our home. This prevents all the “where are my shoes!?!“ screams in the mornings. When the kids get off the bus or my husband and I get home from work, things aren’t strewn across the kitchen. They go where they belong. Use a timer: I use a the timer on my watch for several things every single morning.
Set expectations ahead of time: My kids know that their homework must be done before bed and not the morning of school. Unless we have a late ballgame or rehearsal and they are just exhausted, they know that they are not allowed to do homework in the morning. This prevents any last minute “mom I have to do this worksheet real quick“ debacles that can derail any smooth morning. My children also know that they eat breakfast at home at the table every morning, and they must allow time to eat in their schedule. They will not be eating a pop tart or breakfast bar on the bus. Whatever expectations you have for your family, I encourage you to make those known well ahead of time and be consistent. Consistency is key. Remain calm: This tip is probably the most important tip but also the most comical in my opinion. I can definitely say this is the hardest one for me to follow. While I am naturally a morning person and usually a calm person, my aforementioned anxiety that stems from being late causes me to get easily flustered if the kids go off the rails. It never fails that the dog won’t go outside or the milk gets spilled or the backpack won’t unzip or mom forgot the applesauce on the click list. These things happen. Since we have the 15 minute buffer, it is best to remain calm and take a few deep breaths before unloading every thought and frustration onto our children. We love our children and our spouse and our dog. Repeat that three times LOL. Weekly habits that make daily routines flow smoothly:
Check schedules every night: I have used a planner my entire life. I am a planning guru. However, when work is crazy and kids' schedules are busy and homework abounds, I sometimes forget to look at my planner. This is never good. Whether you use a digital or a paper planner, it is easy to dismiss a digital reminder or leave a beautifully decorated planner unopened. Check the planner. Check it again. Every night. Charge all the things:
Morning routine for parents:
Evening routine for parents:
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