PAUSE: How to Take an Adult Time-Out

Have you ever put yourself into timeout as an adult?
Either your behavior was less than stellar or your attitude needed an adjustment?
You were snapping at the kids for no reason, huffy with your spouse, or just spewing frustration with each breath?

If you were your parent, you would have probably sent you to your room to cool off.
I have learned to do that for myself.

I even announce it.
"Guys, mommy needs a time out.  I will be back in 5 minutes.  Please allow me those 5 minutes to myself."

I hope this is modeling to my boys that even adults have meltdowns and need a moment.
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Let's talk about how to take an adult time-out and
what to do during your adult time-out.

How to take an adult time-out:

1. Announce that you are taking a time-out to your loved ones so they will not feel confused or abandoned. 
2. Set a timer.  5 minutes minimum.  15-30 is preferred.  Let your loved ones know how long you are going to be unavailable.
   
3. Just do it.  Even if you are feeling better before the timer goes off, take the full time.  This reinforces the boundary you set with your loved ones and helps them feel more secure.  This also models ways they can self-regulate in the future.
   

What an adult time-out may look like:

1. Quiet:  Quiet is underrated. Too much noise can muddy our thoughts and increase our anxiety.  Getting away from noise is my first instinct when I am feeling overwhelmed.
2. Relaxation techniques:  These include deep breathing, noticing your 5 senses and naming something you See, Hear, Taste, Smell, and Feel, or other grounding exercises like the Butterfly Tapping method.
3. A short drive:  Taking a short drive can often help you reconnect with nature, reclaim quiet, and allow time for deep breathing.  My therapist also gave me permission to scream in the car.  Preferably not at a red light.  If you've never tried it, please do.  It can be quite a release!
4. A short walk or getting into nature:  Stepping outside is often the only medicine I need.  
5. A bath:  Usually a warm bath will lower your heart rate, allow for quiet, promote deep breathing, and help you recenter your thoughts.  Try some bath salts or essential oils to further promote relaxation.
6. Reading:  When we are anxious or overwhelmed, reading is often difficult.  Sometimes a blog post or a quick article from a magazine can do the trick to clear out our fight or flight response and return to more cognitive thoughts.
7. Meditation:  I personally have trouble meditating even when I am calm, but meditation is a wonderful tool to reset the mind and body.
8. Scrolling funny content:  While social media often heightens anxiety, funny memes or short clips may be all you need to find your sense of reason again.
9. A mini nap:  When we are tired, we cannot make good decisions.  If you know that exhaustion is fueling your bad attitude, try closing your eyes, even if it is only for 5 minutes.
10. Food and drink​:  Never forget the HALT acronym.  Sometimes when our behavior goes off the rails, we need to ask ourselves if we are Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired.  If we are Hungry or Thirsty, those are usually easy and quick fixes.  Always take a self-inventory when you notice your mood changing for the worse.​

I was talking to a close friend the other day about the parenting we received as GenX kids.  I was comparing it to the parenting I try to dole out and joked "man, I hope I'm not messing my kids up."  We proceeded to have a lengthy conversation in which we semi-concluded that our generation is all in therapy because emotions were not allowed or acknowledged. We had to figure it out on our own while our kids' generation seems to start going to therapy in middle school.  All or nothing?  Where is the balance?  

This isn't funny and it isn't lost on me.  
At some point, I do just want my kids to be kids.
On the other hand, I want them to learn how to process their emotions instead of shoving their feelings inside.

If anyone knows the answer to this, let me know!!!  😜
In the end, I think we are all doing the best we can with the time, energy, and knowledge we have.
Just remember...  adults can take a time-out too.  I highly encourage it.

Godspeed.
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I love interacting with my readers.  If you try taking a time-out, I would love to hear the results!
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For more of an inside look into my days, you can follow me on TikTok, Instagram, or Facebook.
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why do i feel icky?

my reel about taking an adult timeout

how to set boundaries

what to say when you don't know what to say

why am i so scared?

shame- yuk!

Please support my other hope*writers by reading their works using the prompt word PAUSE:

Pause in His Presence by Sharla Hallett
https://sharlahallett.com/pause-in-his-presence/

Power of the Pause by Ashley Olivine
https://www.ashleyolivine.com/power-of-the-pause/

Don’t Stress, Pause and Refresh Regina Marcazzo-Skarka
https://wordpress.com/post/reginamarcazzoskarka.com/147

When Hitting Pause is What We Need by Dianne Vielhuber
https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2023/02/01/letting-your-doing-and-being-collide/

The Pause that Creates by MelAnn
https://lifesouvenirs.net/p/the-pause-that-creates

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