How many events have you attended that you DID NOT want to attend?
How much self-care have you missed out on in your efforts to make OTHERS happy?
How much TIME have you wasted doing things you had no desire to do?
People-pleasing usually originates from old emotional wounds. Someone somewhere told you or showed you that you weren't good enough AS YOU ARE, so you started "performing" in ways to please those same people that hurt you. Those habits of pleasing others can bleed over into your romantic relationships, work friendships, family dynamics, and regular friendships.
When we people-please, we ignore our own boundaries. Until we do THE WORK (counseling usually), we people-pleasers usually don't even know what boundaries in relationships look like or feel like.
Since I'm a list-maker, let's look at some strategies to STOP pleasing once and for all!
Let's go into each strategy in a little more detail:
Being a people pleaser is exhausting.
It's like running a marathon every day but never receiving a medal, no cheering crowd, just you.
It's the unnoticed HARD work for others' gain. So yeah, it's not even like a marathon,
because at least in a marathon your body might reap some of the benefits.
Use the strategies listed above to start changing your people-pleasing behavior.
Comment below if you can relate to this or especially if you have "overcome"
some of your people-pleasing tendencies.
Here's to Healthy Boundaries and More NO's in Your Life!