google-site-verification=ZTYg11mvIYHNbEU2g5SxL9_QHKENf5J6gzQJmMAjvss
I was pretty sure an acorn grew into a tree. I haven't been in first grade for a while, but I thought I remembered an acorn grew into an oak tree. I decided I better look it up before I wrote an entire post about it, and alas... an acorn does grow into an oak tree. Wikipedia expounded upon acorns being used in art, cuisine, customs, and as food for various birds and mammals. When I took the picture of the acorn in my husband's hand this morning, I wasn't thinking about anything but stored potential. Stored potential. I remembered squirrels collect and store acorns for the winter. And they eat the acorns. And those eaten acorns never reach their calling of becoming a beautiful oak tree.
There are all kinds of books and stories and even a finance app regarding the acorn as a tool for storage, delayed potential, growth. And yet... Here we are, scrolling on our phones or our laptops or our tablets (thank you, dear readers, and I do mean that)... Did we write that book we wanted to write? Did we take that ballroom dance class we wanted to take? Did we belt it at karaoke night like we'd been rehearsing with our brush mic in front of our bathroom mirror? (Okay, Susie did but that was the bottomless margaritas singing, not her true heart's desire to sing on a stage in front of strangers and have someone's heart beat a little faster and someone's eyes water at the sheer sound of her voice... wait, maybe that's just me)? Did we finally tell our friend we were sorry when we did that thing that's rolled around in the back of our minds for 20 years? Did we hold our child close to our chest and tell them everything is going to be okay even though we know it might not be okay and we don't want to be the reason they're in therapy later but we don't want to pretend everything is okay, oh my goodness, what is the right answer? Did we apply for the promotion we know we deserve or let another opportunity pass us by? Did we sign up for the race we know we aren't ready for but really, really want to try? Did we tell the person that hurt us repeatedly that they did hurt us and going forward, did we define what we need from them? Did we look in the mirror this morning and like every single inch of our bodies and every single fiber of our heart and soul because God designed us as a masterpiece, beautifully and wonderfully made, despite society's measuring sticks? Or, did we remain on the leaf-covered ground like the acorn... waiting for a squirrel or bird or toddler to scoop us up? Were we stored away for another day? Were we consumed before we ever began our destiny? An oak tree is a beautiful destiny. She is strong, tall, sturdy, and beautiful, with colors that change with the seasons. She provides shelter, shade, and structure. She never leaves us and she stays the same for the most part. You know what else is beautiful? A mother who tells her children she has been hurt too, and that it really is all going to be okay. That she KNOWS it's going to be okay, because she is okay and she will help them be okay as long as she is on this earth. A wife who tells her partner what she needs from them even if she doesn't know if they can give her what she needs. A friend who tells the truth when asked if she's okay. And a friend who recognizes her own flaws and asks for patience and understanding. A daughter who can look at her elderly parents and recognize every line on their face and hands for all its good and bad and steadfastness. She can see herself acquiring those same lines and she knows the toll each one has taken. She knows that her own children will see her lines one day, and she hopes they give her the same recognition. I'm typing this on the porch of a cabin on a lake in north Georgia and the acorns are literally spilling from the treetops hitting the ground HARD and abruptly and with force and determination. Each one comes down on this cabin rooftop or leaf-scattered ground with a POUND or a BOOM or a SNAP. And my heart is full. For I know the destiny of each tiny acorn. She is yearning to become a beautiful oak. She is waiting for her moment to rise. Now it is your turn. What path will you choose? Will you make the hard decisions, let your voice be heard, show up for those who love and need you? Or will you stay on the ground... waiting... watching... allowing life to happen all around you? I dare you to stand. I will stand with you.
0 Comments
I grew up in a family that plays games. My father's family played Rook and Dominos. My mother's mother and her husband loved to play Uno and Skip-Bo with me. My childhood friend and I could then and now beat anybody anywhere in Spades (name the date and time, we will be there). In my first marriage, we hosted game nights pretty regularly since we did not have children and we actually had some free time on weekends. Since moving to Georgia, I have hosted several Girls Nights involving games and a ton of laughter. I can quote some of the crazy things my friends have said from those nights, and I will never regret playing a game with people I love. Playing games makes us feel connected, engaged, and let's face it - COMPETITIVE. In 2021, our kids don't know a ton about winning and losing. Participation trophies are the norm and handling a loss is not a daily challenge. I even work in a county where a ZERO cannot be given by a teacher even if the child doesn't write a single stroke of pencil on the page. A SIXTY is the lowest grade that can be given. WHAT are we teaching our next generation? I am the first to admit that not only am I competitive, but I can get carried away. This has improved with each life decade, and I'm now teaching my kids how to win and lose. We love to play the board game Aggravation and now that they are old enough, we have introduced Taboo, The Five Second Rule, Charades, Mafia, Pictionary, Scrabble, Monopoly, and many more. Along the way, I have created games that we can play at the table during family meals OR on a roadtrip. I have no idea if I am the only one on the planet who created these, so I am not calling copyright and you are more than welcome to use them. I think I made them up, but I am certain I did not. I encourage you to try these with your family. Make sure devices are far away and HAVE FUN!
Anyway, now that you have 5 tried-and-true "invisible" (no prop) games you can play with your family or friends while on a roadtrip or sharing a meal, I encourage you to try it!
Start today! Let me know which ones you loved or hated and leave a comment with any "invisible" games you might play with your family.
Those are the 3 phrases that come to mind when I think of intention. And boy do I try to live intentionally. I even chose a name for my blog / business/ alter ego etc with the word INTENT. So why do I feel ill-equipped to write about intention?!? I have all the planners, techniques, vision, and skills to live a life well-planned. I have mastered and honed the Home CEO, Working Mom, and Grown Adult roles so much so that I even write blog posts dedicated to living with intention, being more productive, and living your best life. And then I consider the best days and moments I have experienced. They weren’t planned or perfect. Most of them were a result of unforeseen circumstance. I’m living in a state that never crossed my mind prior to my dad losing his job in 1994 when I was a freshman in college. I’m a mother to a child I never knew existed until he was six. I have AMAZING friends, patients, and coworkers I never would have met had my first marriage not ended. And I’m married to a man who gave me 2 gorgeous, smart, funny, loving boys that never would have known my name if all my plans had worked out. Those that know us would agree we would probably have never been in the same room if it weren’t for someone somewhere creating the internet. So I will continue to plan, manifest, set goals, and make to-do lists. It makes me happy and I like to think I’m in control. Then I will watch some of it unfold, unravel, get messy, hurt, and burn - I will be better, wiser, and more compassionate in the aftermath of my intention. ❤️ As I sit outside to write, I hear birds around me, the gentle breeze in the trees, and squirrels rustling through the leaves. It is a gorgeous late summer afternoon, and I can feel the energy of fall from my toes up through my body and into my smile. Fall is my absolute favorite time of year, only one tiny degree above Christmas. I see a blue-tailed lizard shuffle along my patio and I notice a few dry leaves dancing from the treetops to the creek bed.
God didn't make me to live inside. He didn't make me to sit still or stay in one place either. I have lived in 4 states, multiple homes, and I think I'm on my third lifetime (or so it feels most days). Sometimes, when I'm quiet... when IT is quiet.. I reflect on all I have seen, witnessed, felt, loved, lost, and won. Certain flashes in time come to me, waves of emotions, smells, sounds, and FEELINGS. When I'm quiet. When my day is quiet. When I'm not moving or doing or thinking...
I just had a funny thought as I sipped my coffee. I wish I had read this article 19 years ago in my first few weeks of NP school. I wonder if I would have kept going to class? Probably... knowing me. I'm always trying to prove somebody wrong. Alright, alright, I'm about to let you all in on a BIG secret! Those who love me, and especially those who live with me know all of these truths, but I bet many of you are about to lose all your enamor for your health care provider. I am going to tell you about the daily life of a family nurse practitioner working in primary care. In essence, my day can be broken down into a few "sessions" or time periods.
Let me laugh with another sip of coffee real quick before I proceed.
Going back to my original "dreams" of working as an NP, did any of it come true?
Check out these posts from my fellow Hope*Writers for our monthly writing challenge. This month's theme was "daily": Oh, I Try by Jessica Weaver www.rootedunrooted.com/blog/oh-i-try Kids Sleep Meditation: 6 Daily Practice Dos and Don’ts by Ashley Olivine louvaria.com/kids-sleep-meditation/ Lessons from Daily Bread by Dianne Vielhuber simplewordsoffaith.com/2021/09/01/lessons-from-daily-bread/ Daily Conversations with God by Sharla Hallett www.sharlahallett.com/daily-conversations-with-god/ How to be the most productive on your day off (when you have to run errands): 10 Pro Tips!8/11/2021
We have all been there. We have an unexpected day off and we try to cram 497,632 things to do in that one day. That day comes and goes like the wind and maybe only two things were accomplished. We feel like a failure, and we decide we are a lazy blob of a human. None of this is true.
Here are 10 pro tips when running errands and being productive on your day off:
Let's take a deep dive into each of these pro tips.
I encourage you to try these on your next day off and share your success stories (or epic fails- we can laugh or cry with you) in the comments below. Please know that I still have wasted days off, and that's okay! I'm learning in my forties that some days are meant to be wasted. (insert sunshine, beach music, and a cool breeze here)
First of all- this morning was a disaster, so I thought this might be a good topic for a blog post. Since my oldest is now 19 and out of the house, I cannot claim to be a novice at getting children out the door. My youngest is now in fourth grade, so again I should be good at this.
I learned many years ago that mornings and evenings with children can make or break any parent's heart. All kids out the door with teeth brushed, hair combed, deodorant on, lunch in hand, and backpacks on equals home run, grand slam, touchdown. If either or both parent makes it out the door with work lunch, work bag, clothes, jewelry, watch, phone, brain cells, positive attitude, AND shoes--- well you might as well say we have won the lottery. The secret to these success stories (which let’s be honest are few and far between for most of us) is having a morning and an evening routine. I know, I know, everyone and their mother, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin is online touting about elaborate morning and evening routines that are super unrealistic for a single person much less for a family with multiple children. My goal in writing this article is to tell you the absolute truth: the cold, hard, ugly, sometimes-hilarious, often meltdown-provoking truth. The truth is that getting kids out the door is hard. It also takes practice and patience. The following tips will help you get your kids out the door:
The 15 minute buffer: Parents and kids alike need a 15 minute buffer every morning. This is a fact, and I’m not sure why it is true, but it is true. If everyone needs to leave by 7:15 AM , we ALL need to mentally think 7 AM. Allowing that 15 minute buffer reduces anxiety, rushing, attitudes, and raised voices. I personally use the 15 minute buffer always on all days just to reduce my own anxiety since being late provokes panic for me. Have a dedicated spot for backpacks, shoes, and lunchboxes: All five members of our household have always taken their lunch to work or school. This saves money and is better for our physical health. We have a dedicated spot for lunchboxes so that packing lunches is easier. I asked my husband to install hooks in our hallway between the garage and laundry room for backpacks since the layout of our house does not lend itself to a mud room or drop off bench area. The backpack / hoodie hooks have been a game changer in our household. Similarly, shoes are deposited in a designated space as we enter our home. This prevents all the “where are my shoes!?!“ screams in the mornings. When the kids get off the bus or my husband and I get home from work, things aren’t strewn across the kitchen. They go where they belong. Use a timer: I use a the timer on my watch for several things every single morning.
Set expectations ahead of time: My kids know that their homework must be done before bed and not the morning of school. Unless we have a late ballgame or rehearsal and they are just exhausted, they know that they are not allowed to do homework in the morning. This prevents any last minute “mom I have to do this worksheet real quick“ debacles that can derail any smooth morning. My children also know that they eat breakfast at home at the table every morning, and they must allow time to eat in their schedule. They will not be eating a pop tart or breakfast bar on the bus. Whatever expectations you have for your family, I encourage you to make those known well ahead of time and be consistent. Consistency is key. Remain calm: This tip is probably the most important tip but also the most comical in my opinion. I can definitely say this is the hardest one for me to follow. While I am naturally a morning person and usually a calm person, my aforementioned anxiety that stems from being late causes me to get easily flustered if the kids go off the rails. It never fails that the dog won’t go outside or the milk gets spilled or the backpack won’t unzip or mom forgot the applesauce on the click list. These things happen. Since we have the 15 minute buffer, it is best to remain calm and take a few deep breaths before unloading every thought and frustration onto our children. We love our children and our spouse and our dog. Repeat that three times LOL. Weekly habits that make daily routines flow smoothly:
Check schedules every night: I have used a planner my entire life. I am a planning guru. However, when work is crazy and kids' schedules are busy and homework abounds, I sometimes forget to look at my planner. This is never good. Whether you use a digital or a paper planner, it is easy to dismiss a digital reminder or leave a beautifully decorated planner unopened. Check the planner. Check it again. Every night. Charge all the things:
Morning routine for parents:
Evening routine for parents:
So, how in the world do I plan meals for an entire month? As I mentioned in my previous post, monthly meal planning has taken me YEARS to develop. One thing to note is that there are 3 adults rotating the cooking in my family. My parents live 2 doors down from us and we decided many years ago that it was easier to feed 7 than 2 (for them) and that mom didn't mind cooking for 7 twice a week if it meant she and dad would be fed by us several nights per week. Some weeks that looks different. Since my husband and I both commute about an hour each way to our jobs, and he works night shift, my mom may have to cook 3 times some weeks. Kids' sports and school activities can also affect our cooking rotation. Let's look at monthly meal planning with a few good tips or rules to get you started:
Now let's look at each question in more detail:
Good luck and just remember:
it doesn't have to be fancy, it just has to be planned. Throughout my career, I have had to deliver hard news to my patients. I have had to deliver even worse news to their families. It is the LEAST favorite part of my job, but I have found some comfort knowing I am delivering the news with compassion and empathy. I usually know the patient and family very well, and I think that means a lot. These suggestions may be helpful when faced with a difficult diagnosis.
Let's look at each suggestion in detail:
I am in a unique position in that I have both delivered and received hard news. At the age of 40, when my youngest son was 4, I was told I probably have lymphoma AND multiple sclerosis over the phone by a nurse. I was told to get an appointment with an oncologist and a neurologist as soon as possible. Many blood tests, imaging tests, and biopsies later, I was finally told that "you don't have cancer! And I don't think you have MS but I'm not sure. What you do have is a lifelong incurable autoimmune disease that can attack any organ and can be difficult to treat. And by the way, nobody has really heard of it and even us doctors have to google it when we see it on a chart."
So maybe those weren't his exact words, but it was close. And there will be a lot more to that story to come in my posts. I wish someone had used tip #3 with me when delivering my news.
My husband and I have been on opposite shifts for 5 years. Has it been fun or easy? No and no. Has a tiny part of me enjoyed hogging the remote or eating popcorn for dinner on the rare evening when kids are gone? Yes for sure! It does take effort to stay connected when you may go 48 hours without seeing each other, and I have learned a few tricks that have worked for us. 8 tips to stay connected despite working opposite shifts:
Here are 10 easy ways to support someone with a chronic illness:
I have been living with a chronic illness for 5 years now. My family and friends have been a huge source of support. Even as they've tried to love me, I've witnessed their looks of "what can I do?" or "what should I say?". Most chronic illnesses are unique and involve multiple appointments with various specialists, countless medications, and years of simply managing one's health. These concrete examples can really help your loved one and make them feel important.
She had legs as long as her cars (she always drove a Lincoln or a Ford). She loved cigarettes and an evening toddy. She never went to college, but she was sharp as a tack. She was good with money, and she wanted me to be able to take care of myself. She loved to dance, and she loved to have fun.
Every summer she would take me to an expensive swimsuit store in Gulf Shores and let me pick out whatever swimsuit I wanted, sometimes two. On her back porch, we sat together and shucked corn, shelled peas, and snapped beans. She loved my brother and me so much that she put an in-ground pool in her backyard and kept it crystal clean. She could call me out on my smart mouth or eye rolls in a hot second, and I will admit, I did not want to cross her. She and her third husband drove to see us in their RV which was the absolute coolest thing my friends and I had ever seen. No one in small-town Kentucky had an RV. One summer she flew a friend and me down to see her and we were able to fly without an adult. We thought we were movie stars! I was only thirteen when she was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 3 months later. When I went to “say goodbye” before she died, she told me to only cry 2 tears for her. She told me she had known love and loss and had a fulfilling career and raised her babies and got to meet her grandbabies. She told me she had traveled and had fun and danced weekly at the local spot. She had run a business and built a home (like literally picked out the plans which not all people get to do in their lifetime) and that she was okay to go. I had not known anything she had known at that time. No romantic love or loss (she was the first person I really lost as a child and boy was it a whammy!). No career or babies or grandbabies. No travel or weekly dance dates with my husband or businesses run or houses built. I sit here today, and I’ve done almost all of those things now. Because of her, I’ve even saved a dollar or two. Because of her, I laugh more, sing more, dance more, and love more. I forgive easier and dream more. Maya Angelou is famous for saying we don’t forget how people make us feel. Martha Louise Merrigan Taylor Rouse Taylor (yes, you read that right, she married 2 different Taylors of no relation) made me feel like I was special and important. When I was with her, I felt loved and cherished. Not perfect, she never let me think that, but close. Early morning in a hotel room in Birmingham, AL and it’s already scorching outside. The boys are asleep, but I’m still basking in the glory of seeing an old friend last night. We picked up as if we were just sitting next to each other in AP English, but in reality, it has been TEN years since I’ve seen her face and hugged her tightly.
With social media, one can “feel” like we know what’s going on in each other’s lives, but nothing replaces uninterrupted conversation and rehashing old memories. When you’re 45 and you see someone who knew you at 11 in that awkward braces-for-her, round-thick-glasses-for-me phase, any ego or feeling of adultness goes out the window. We saw each other’s hearts get broken and dreams get lived out. I twirled a flag in a band she led onto the field, and she had to witness all my annoying academic dominance in high school. Can you believe she actually apologized for something she said that was cruel to me 30 years ago? She is one of the most beautiful loving souls I have ever known! Her faith and love for God has always brought me to her like a moth to a flame; she has been a safe space for me to express my faith. Why do we all hold onto old garbage? I do it too! We all do. This time our conversation covered motherhood, marriage, aging parents, losing parents, our nursing careers, and each of our unwanted entrances into the world of rheumatology. Just like in high school, we laughed and smiled about our daily quest to do the best we can and survive the icky parts of relationships, parenting, and work. Both a little wiser, and me definitely a lot humbler (her too, I’m sure), it was refreshing to be REAL for a few hours with my friend who saw me with 2” high bangs and overalls with one strap unbuttoned. You can’t lie to a friend who has seen all that. |