Have you ever been picked last for a team or a project?
Have you ever been sitting at the END of a table and no one really acknowledged your presence during the lively, laugh-out-loud dinner that everyone else seemed to be having?
Have you ever been cut off during a conversation when someone "cooler or prettier or funnier or more magnetic" stepped into the mix?
What if you vote a certain way but you're surrounded by others who vote differently? You want them to love you for you, but are you having to hide part of yourself in order to belong?
What if you have a different opinion but keep it to yourself in fear of others' reactions?
What if you don't even feel like you belong in your own home? Isn't home supposed to be your safe space?
So, again, I think we have all experienced this feeling.
Source: Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart
Since we all know we can't control the thoughts or actions of others, let's focus on what WE can do the next time we feel this way.
Here are 10 ways you can (and I do these myself) try to reach the feeling of BELONGING again:
Now let us review. Somebody somewhere made you feel
left out, unwanted, or overlooked.
You start to list all the reasons you are just that: unwanted and overlooked.
Then you REMEMBER these tips to get back to belonging
and you pull at least one of them out.
Consider it a secret weapon. Use it.
Allow yourself to feel both ways - both the ickiness of unbelonging and
the comfort of true connection once you have found your way back.
Teach someone else you love how to do this the next time
they call you searching for validation.
And hey. Just so you know, I would pick you.